‘Frasier’ Alum Kelsey Grammer Says His Late Sister Karen Wanted Him ‘to Tell Her Story’ About Her Murder

In writing about his late sister Karen, Emmy-winning actor Kelsey Grammer recalled details of his childhood he hadn’t thought about in decades.

“Recall is just extraordinary,” Kelsey, 70, exclusively tells Closer. “I’m seeing the bedroom the way it was laid out. I’m remembering the way a little television was perched on a chair when we were both kids together.”

The Frasier star was studying acting in New York City in 1975 when he received word that his younger sister Karen had died in Colorado. The 18-year-old had been abducted outside her restaurant job, raped and murdered. It fell to Kelsey to identify her body.

His memoir, Karen: A Brother Remembers, which was released by Harper Select on May 6, is a celebration of his sister’s life and a reflection on the nature of grief — and it was his sister’s idea.

“It was actually a channeled message that came to me some time ago from a medium who said, ‘Karen wants you to tell her story,’” explains Kelsey, who says that writing about Karen’s “warmth, her fun and her laugh” helped him reclaim her memory. “I was so overwhelmed by my last image of her that it was a very hard thing for me to move past,” he says.

In writing about her “I got to be with her alive again. To mourn Karen with nobility and praise for her was something I was meant to do.”

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Like so many survivors of tragedy, Kelsey carried the pain for decades.

“There were lots of years of self-loathing and all kinds of behaviors that I had to work through,” says the actor, who has been sober since 1996. “But I never gave up the idea that somehow there was God and hope.”

Kelsey often felt his sister’s presence while writing. “Sometimes I heard her voice come through,” he says. “Suddenly, she’s there and leading me in a different direction. It was a pretty extraordinary thing.”

It made Kelsey realize that Karen’s spirit has often been with him. “There’s been a few times in my life when I was on the precipice of making a life decision that I thought maybe I heard her saying, ‘Why don’t you give this another thought?’” he admits. “But I wasn’t listening at the time.”

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In addition to paying tribute to his sister’s life, Kelsey hopes his memoir will bring comfort.

“I was trying to write a consolation for other people who’ve been through similar situations,” he explains, “although I understand that there is no way around the grief.”

He found that recalling his sister’s vibrant life has helped alleviate some of the pain of losing her.

“Understanding how precious it was that you had the time you had with this person, that can hopefully balance it out a little bit,” he says, adding that writing the book spurred a “transformation” in him. “It was kind of a gift to be asked to do this,” he says, “and maybe that’s what Karen wanted.”