Oprah Winfrey Bravely Opens up About Her Battle With Depression: “I Felt Like I Was Behind a Veil”

Showbiz success hasn’t always been an easy feat for Oprah Winfrey. In fact, the 63-year-old star revealed in a new interview that she once sunk into a deep depression after experiencing her first box office movie flop back in the late 1990s.

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In 1998, Oprah starred in and produced a film adaptation of Toni Morrison’s 1987 novel Beloved and the flick sadly didn’t perform in theaters. “I got a call from someone at the studio, and they said, ‘It’s over. You got beat by Chucky,'” the media mogul recalled during a new interview with [Vogue](https://www.vogue.com/article/oprah-winfrey-vogue-september-issue-2017?mbid=zrwinfrey)_. “And I said, ‘Who’s Chucky?’ What do you mean it’s over? It’s just Saturday morning!’ I knew nothing about box office projections or weekend openings… and so began my long plunge into food and depression and suppressing all my feelings.”

“I actually started to think, ‘Maybe I really am depressed.’ Because it’s more than ‘I feel bad about this.’ I felt like I was behind a veil. I felt like what many people had described over the years on my show, and I could never imagine it. What’s depression? Why don’t you just pick yourself up?” Oprah continued.

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The actress said her depression lasted about six weeks. “That’s when the gratitude practice became really strong for me because it’s hard to remain sad if you’re focused on what you have instead of what you don’t have,” she explained. “It taught me to never again, never again, ever, put all of your hopes, expectations, eggs in the basket of box office. Do the work as an offering, and then, whatever happens, happens.”

Oprah in the 1998 movie Beloved. (Photo Credit: Getty Images)

During her sit-down with Vogue for the magazine’s September issue, Oprah additionally opened up about her more than 30-year relationship with boyfriend Stedman Graham — and revealed why they’ve never married. “The only time I brought it up was when I said to Stedman, ‘What would have happened if we had actually gotten married?’ And the answer is: ‘We wouldn’t be together.’ We would not have stayed together, because marriage requires a different way of being in this world,” she said.